


New to This

by DawnsEternalLight



Series: A Study in Brotherhood [3]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman and Robin (Comics)
Genre: Bonding, Brotherhood, Dick Grayson is Batman, Fluff, Gen, Misunderstandings, but love each other so much, slight angst, these two are a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-23 14:15:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11991531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DawnsEternalLight/pseuds/DawnsEternalLight
Summary: Dick's life has gone from busy to the busiest since he took up the mantel of Batman. He's late and running later to a meeting, but in trying to explain that to Damian he hurts him instead. Dick's trying not to do the same things Bruce did when he was Robin, so how come he keeps falling into the same traps Bruce did?





	New to This

Dick was busy. It seemed to come with the territory of being in charge of-- well everything. He had no idea how Bruce had done it. It seemed an impossible task to balance Wayne Enterprise work, meetings, the cowl, and raising a Robin. Add to that Dick’s social life, and he was pretty sure the hours needed to do everything in his day didn’t match what the sun had in store for him. 

If he’d ever thought he’d been busy before, he’d had no clue. Not a single one. He’d never realized what Bruce dealt with on a daily basis. No wonder he liked to skip charity events, they were time suckers that Dick could use doing literally anything else. He got tired just thinking of his schedule for the day.

Already he was running late for a meeting, one that was bound to take forever since John Harris was going to be there. The man did not know the meaning of brief. Or subtle, for that matter. Dick wished he could skip the whole thing, but Lucius wouldn’t appreciate him missing so, he was going. 

He piled everything he needed, loose papers and a folder, on top of a binder and made his way out of his office feeling a little like he was back in school. 

When he walked out Damian was sitting at the kitchen bar, working his way through the homework Alfred had assigned him for the day. Dick had tried to convince him to attend regular school, as a way to have interactions with people beyond his brother and butler, but he’d refused. That was fine, he was young and adapted quickly, Dick had just hoped to give him something of normality. 

Still, homeschooling was normal enough, he thought. It was a popular alternative to public schooling, and it offered Damian the chance to continue his studies where he’d left off with his mother, plus Alfred could weave in more traditional teachings as well. 

Seeing his brother hunched over a book, the tip of his tongue peeking out of his contemplative lips made Dick smile for a moment at how familiar the whole scene was. He’d been that kid not so long ago, working over homework, totally focused so he could move on with his day.

There’d been many days where Dick had been doing homework, reading, or playing some game that Bruce had rushed through past him just like Dick was about to do. He cringed at the times he’d turned his head up, and chewed Bruce out for never having time for him, yelling at him until he’d wore himself out. Once or twice he’d even threatened to run away threatening Bruce: ‘if you don’t have time for me I’ll find someone who does.’ 

A pang of longing hit him, he  _ wished _ he could apologize to Bruce. To tell him all the things he’d figured out in the months after he’d taken up Bruce’s life. How he’d learned that everything he’d dreaded about being Batman was true.To apologize for every headache he’d given Bruce growing up because Damian was giving him double that. That he understood how taxing his job and responsibilities were. Standing in his father’s shoes, he knew Bruce had done his best. He’d tried so hard, and even when he’d screwed up he’d still tried to fix it. Dick hoped he was being half as good to Damian, even if most of the time he was sure he was failing in that regard. 

He looked at the kid as he turned his own attention up to Dick, and he hated that he was going to have to rush out again on him. He’d been doing it so often lately, seeing Damian only during patrol and scattered moments through the day. It wasn’t fair to him, or even Dick as he tried to get to know the kid. 

Damian didn't smile at him. He rarely did, but he nodded, and Dick took that as the smile he would have given in the kid’s place. 

“Grayson, excellent timing.”

“Not for a whole lot, I’m afraid.” Dick told him. “I’m a bit busy.” 

His brother pressed his lips together. “Do you have time to assist me with a problem? Pennyworth has asked me to write an essay concerning American governing practices, and I am having trouble making sense both of my previous teachings and the documents I have here.” 

He shifted some papers to reveal a packet, neatly stapled in the corner and almost half an inch thick. Dick’s heart fell seeing the size of it, he didn’t have time to figure out what Alfred had Damian looking over, let alone helping the kid work out the differences between what Talia had told him and what was being taught here.

Dick shook his head. “I can’t, I’m booked for the day and already running late.” 

Damian scowled. “You are always running late, a few extra minutes would not make it worse.”

Dick’s watch buzzed at him, letting him know he was very very late and there was no way he was getting away with less than a stern look from Lucius now.

“I can’t. I really do have to go.” he went to slip by Damian, but the boy’s hand darted out to grab his arm. 

“Grayson, please.” 

Dick pulled away, breaking the careful balance of his stack of papers with the movement, and causing a chunk to slide forward. “Damian. Just finish it. You’re capable of doing that, or Alfred wouldn’t have assigned it.” Dick snapped as a stack of papers slid off the smooth plastic of the binder he’d balanced them on.  

“And-” he paused both to find the right words, and grab at the shower of loose leaf sheets falling everywhere. “If you do we’ll get some ice cream or something when I get b-ack!” he bit out a curse as his precarious stack started to to topple again. 

He righted the whole thing and sighed, “Just- I dunno work it out.” He added, slapping a hand onto the pile to keep everything from moving again. 

He didn’t even realize at first what he’d said, or how it might affect Damian. It wasn’t until a quiet, angry, and hurt voice cut through the shuffle of papers that he even guessed he’d screwed up.

“Fine.” There was an ache in Damian’s voice that made Dick stop, letting the papers that insisted on sliding out of his hands go, “I never liked you either.”

It should have been bitter, Dick would have said the words that way, Damian  _ should _ have said them in that tone, but this one was so broken. Under anger there was a hitch, and suddenly Dick forgot he was late in watching Damian as the boy snapped his book closed, and began piling his own paper and notebook on top of it.

The next moment he’d spun on his heel and was taking quick steps to retreat to his room, fumbling for a moment with the doorknob, and sending his own mess of papers toppling to the ground in a mess almost exactly like Dick had just dealt with. 

The boy cursed, his voice angry and sharp as he opened the door and stomped into his room leaving the homework to shudder on the ground as the door slammed behind him.  

Crap. 

Crap. Crap. Double crapity crap.

Lucius was going to hate him, but there was no way Dick was going to his meeting now. 

‘I never liked you either.’ That’s what Dick had made his boy think, made him feel like he was a set piece, a bother, something Dick had to move around. Or, everything Dick himself had felt growing up, only worse since Dick had at least known Bruce had wanted him. Every day Damian grappled with the fact that Bruce hadn’t felt that way about him, that it had taken Dick choosing him to really bring him into the family and  _ still _ Damian felt he needed to work to belong. 

And Dick had shot down every inch of confidence Damian might have built up with some stupid hurried words. Hadn’t he just finished thinking about how he’d used to feel the same way around Bruce? How he’d hated being brushed off and wanted to try hard not to imitate that? He sure was getting off to a great start not being Bruce.

He dumped the stack onto the bar, not caring that they immediately started slipping off again, and moved to Damian’s door. There he collected Damian’s scattered work and stood before knocking on the wood lightly.

“You are late, are you not? Go to your meeting, Grayson.” The angry words were muffled through the door, but not so much that Dick didn’t hear the hurt still lacing Damian’s voice. 

Why did it take moments like this to make Damian act his age? Dick’s heart constricted at the words, but he also felt something else, a hope that maybe Damian could one day naturally act this way, but for happier reasons.

“I’m not going, Damian. Open the door so I can apologize.” 

There was a pause where Dick was sure Damian had shook his head before realizing that Dick couldn’t see the action. “You did not have time for me before, I would hate for you to miss your all important meeting.” 

Dick sighed. Had he had this hard of a head when he was ten? Probably. If he were being honest he still did. 

“I’m coming in.” he said, and turned the knob, or he tried to but it was locked. He exhaled slowly. “Damian, would you mind unlocking your door for me?” 

He didn’t add ‘or I’ll unlock it myself’. Damian seemed to understand the unsaid threat and after a brief moment the door unlocked and was flung open, revealing the furious face of his little brother.

“You are only making yourself later by this foolish attempt at reconciliation.” 

“I told you, I’m not going.” Dick said, attempting to keep a smile out of his voice. 

He knew he had messed up, and knew Damian was hurting, but his little brother was far too cute having his fit. He wondered briefly if it was Damian’s first proper kid fit. He’d probably had them before, in a different form with his mother, but here his only option was to refuse any of Dick’s words. And Dick knew exactly how long that kind of resistance lasted, only as long as it took for the adult to properly apologize and find the root of the problem. 

Damian opened his mouth to tell Dick to get lost again but he held up a hand instead. 

“Dames, the meeting is a loss. You won’t get me to leave you alone by trying to convince me otherwise. Let's talk okay? Then if you want I’ll let you stew in your room as long as you’d like.”

Damian eyed him with a suspicious glare but finally stepped back, away from his doorway to give Dick access. Dick stepped inside, happy to have been granted the permission, and stopped in front of his brother. 

“I’m sorry.” he started, and Damian huffed, arms crossed, his eyes anywhere but Dick. 

He couldn’t blame him. Dick had screwed up. What had he been thinking telling Damian to handle it on his own? Or saying he should be capable? Those words were things he was trying to get Damian himself to stop saying, actions he was trying to get his brother away from, and mindsets he was trying to change. 

What could have possessed him to make him think he could use them on Damian again? He’d probably sounded like Talia in that moment. 

“I am so, desperately sorry.” Dick told him, his voice low. “I didn’t mean to make you think--” 

But here Damian cut him off, still angry and worked up, still needing to let his voice be heard, and Dick knew that so he let him say his piece.

“What, Grayson? That I should be better? That I failed and will continue to? That Mother and Father were right? I am not the man I should be and I do not belong here?” The words flooded out of his little brother in a wave of emotion as he pressed his  fists tightly together by his side. 

“Damian.” Dick said, reaching out for him with his free hand, but the boy swatted his hand away. 

“I told you, it’s fine. I should have realized before that you did not care, and that I am little more than a  _ bother _ .” he spat the word, then added, like it was important to remind Dick, “I meant it, I never liked you anyway.” 

At this his chest heaved and he pulled in a deep breath, like he’d let everything out. 

“No.” Dick told him, his voice gentle. “You didn’t.” 

Damian started, looking at him now with a confused tilt to his brows. He seemed about to respond, but Dick barreled forward with his opening. 

“You do like me, and I love you. So much, but sometimes I--”

“Forget?” Damian suggested.

Dick eyed him. “Sometimes, I have a lot of other things on my mind, I don’t forget, but I do let those things get in the way. I didn’t meant to make you think any of what you listed, you know that. You’ve never been a bother, and you’re the smartest kid I know. The emphasis there, Damian is that you are a kid.” 

His brother scowled at him. 

“I mean it. You don’t have to worry about being the best man you can be, you’re not there yet. Try just being the best you.”

He was hoping he’d thawed the ice a little, but Damian’s scowl deepened. “Sure.” he muttered. 

“Come on, what else is bothering you?” Dick asked. “If you don’t tell me I won’t know what to work on.” he prodded. 

“I asked for help.” Damian muttered. “I asked you and you said no. You said I could always ask.” 

There it was. Dick’s true sin. They’d gone over everything else before, and Dick was certain they’d have that conversation over and over until Damian finally started to be comfortable thinking he was both wanted and loved. And as much as that thought alone broke Dick’s heart, he had to fix the mess he’d made before he could work on that.  

Damian had asked him for help, which was a feat on it’s own, and Dick had brushed him aside. How many times had he begged Damian to ask him when he needed help, and here he was blowing off the one time he’d actually listened and done what Dick had asked? Sure it wasn’t case related, but one instance lead to another if the result was positive. Dick had basically just told Damian he’d lied when he’d said he could come to him for help. And Damian had picked up on it immediately. 

“You can.” Dick told him. “And if I hadn’t been so rushed I would have said yes. I should have promised to look over it when I got back. I know I must have sounded like--” he broke off, unsure if he wanted to continue, but then he realized he had to, “I must have sounded like your mother, and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you think you were less for asking a question. Everyone has questions, and needs help. It’s good to ask, and I’m proud that you did.”   

Damian seemed a little mollified by his words, but Dick wanted to make sure he knew that he really did want to help, anytime Damian asked.

“Sometimes I’m going to be busy like today, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to help, or that the answer is no. I’m as new at this as you are, so we’re going to have to figure things out together, if that’s alright?” 

Damian considered his words for a moment before nodding. “I believe that’s acceptable, you are only human after all.” 

Dick wanted to laugh, instead he set Damian’s papers on the nearest surface and held his arms open for a hug. Damian hesitated a moment before stepping into them. 

“Thank you.” Dick said, into Damian’s hair. 

His brother nodded into his chest and Dick squeezed him before stepping away. 

“Now, how about I help you with this homework, and you help me figure out a good reason to give Lucius about missing the meeting? I was thinking we could say you’d come down with some terrible illness, or maybe you fell off your bike today.”

Damian rolled his eyes, moving to pick up his work from where Dick had left it. “Those are both pitiful excuses. I do not have a bike so I can’t have fallen off of it, and you used the illness excuse the last time you had to beg for his forgiveness. I think, Grayson, you could learn to be a bit more creative.” 

Dick grinned after him as he followed Damian back out into the living area. 

“What do you suggest then?” he asked, “Balloon accident? A terrible papercut from your homework? Or maybe I’ll tell him you fell down a well?” 

“All preposterous, I shall school you in proper excuses the moment we’ve finished this essay.” Damian said, hopping up onto one of the stools. 

He’d already spread out his work again and was rifling through the packet he’d shown Dick earlier by the time Dick took his seat beside him, a grin on his face. He leaned over and bumped his elbow into Damian’s arm, getting his brother’s attention. 

“You know I like you, right? Not just love, but I enjoy being around you?” Dick asked.

His brother flushed slightly and nodded. “If you made it any clearer it would be painted on top of the Wayne Enterprises building.” he slipped the packet to a spot between them on the counter and pointed at a paragraph, then added in a quieter, if not slightly haughty tone, “I like you too, else I’d be asking Pennyworth to assist me with this when he returned instead of you.” 

Dick chuckled. “Whatever you say, Lil’ D, now let me see what it was that had you stumped.” 


End file.
